T’was The Night Before Christmas…

It was the Night Before Christmas and with the click of my mouse
I had turned off the lights throughout our wired house
We don’t have a chimney so in case someone cares
The kids had hung stockings on the backs of their chairs
They’d gone upstairs early and rushed off to their beds
To dream of tablets and consoles which spun in their heads

And Mother in her Pyjamas and I stuffed in mine
Had demolished the mince pies and drunk all the wine
We were in bed watching the telly and having a natter
When out in the garden there came such a clatter
The lights were switched off so I took a swift glance
Through a crack in the curtains to see whats askance

There in the moonlight in the middle of the lawn
Sat a fellow in a red suit looking lost and forlorn
He seemed to have dropped something he was groping around
And he was trying to retrieve it without making a sound
After fumbling and stumbling he located his sack
And he swung it quite high and over his back

Now the garden was dark and it was getting quite late
and I’d locked all the doors and padlocked the back gate
So I wasn’t quite sure how this round fellow in red
Had landed in our garden and got me out of bed
So I put on my slippers with the holes in the toe
And descended the stairs to confront whats below

I unlocked the back door with some trepidation
And went outside to the poor fellows consternation
He was rounded and chubby and stretched out his suit
And he had this red hat and a white beard to boot…
He was most apologetic and “I’m Sorry” he said
he was embarrassed, his cheeks were quite red

I said “Don’t worry old fellow we will sort you out”
So I unlocked the gate so I could let the chap out
then up the side passage I showed him the way
But stopped in my tracks when I bumped into a sleigh
I suddenly realised this was no drunken lout
But the real St Nick who was out and about

He spoke to the reindeer gave reassurance and chat
Then straightened his suit and re-seated his hat
Then Saint Nick came up and said “I’m not sure…
why my Fat-Nav brought me to your back door.”
I said “Its probably the software on your particular device
or it could be electronic caused by the snow and the ice…”

It was clearly apparent from the Fat-Navs display
That its outdated software had caused this delay
I updated all his software using our wire less device
And made sure his antenna was free of snow and from ice
He climbed gratefully on board his updated sleigh
and shouted “Donner and Blitzen… Up up and away..”

and as he flew over Bridport and away out of sight
He said “Merry Christmas to all and Blessed Good Night!”

Peter Roe
All Rights Reserved
December 2016

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