The Fastest Dinosaur in the World

Today I would like to focus
On Dippy the Diplodocus
It seems he’s already on tour
Dippy ‘The Flat Pack’ Dinosaur

When he arrives at each destination
He’s assembled for public observation
With labels and signs all around
And weights to keep his feet on the ground

No dinosaur will ever move faster
Than Dippy whose cast out of plaster
This giant jigsaw puzzle of bones
Can be snapped by you on your phones

And his image will be sent by tonight
To your mates at the speed of light
So no dinosaur will ever move faster
Than Dippy whose made out of plaster

 

All rights reserved
Peter Roe 2018

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Tiddles The Quantum Cat

You may have heard a tale that folks relate
About a cat in a box in a quantum state
That cat is neither alive or dead when its hid
You can only make sure when you lift the lid

Now Tiddles the cat was the one whose fate
Had been tied forever into that quantum state
So when his mates came and gave him a shout
He couldn’t go because he was neither in nor out

Poor little Tiddles he just wasn’t really sure
Who he really was and if he existed any more
Being both dead and alive it seems to me
Means that he is probably just a Zombie

One night each year when the veils are thin
Reality gets twisted and they let the others in
So leave out a box with sweets and stuff like that
In case you need to feed Tiddles the Zombie Cat

And if you are out and about on Halloween Night
And hear a strange noise that gives you a fright
It’s probably just Tiddles the Zombie Cat
Knocking over bins or something like that

 

All Rights Reserved – Peter Roe – October 2017

Is It Too Late To Be Writing Poetry?

I’m tired and I just can’t stop yawning
It’s stupid o’clock in the bloody morning

We will just have to wait and see
If it’s too late to be writing poetry?

I really need some divine intervention
perhaps an elixir of lyrical inspiration

I drifted and snoozed and finally slumped
and only woke when my head got bumped!

Perhaps a surgeon would do instead
To remove this keyboard from my head

First Bytes in Computing

I bunked off school at age twelve to watch a crane install a computer through the roof of a local hauliers. Ever since I have had an unending attraction to all things technological.

Later in Computer Studies we still learnt about punchcards but 1977 was a year of change. The first microprocessor computer I actually touched was nothing more than a circuit board and processor. When one of the other kids managed to make it smoke by giving it a divide by zero command I was hooked.

So at sixteen I did a brief stint as a lab technician before joining the Air Force in Air Traffic Control. This brought me into contact with computers in the workplace and this amazing contraption the size of a wardrobe called a MuFax. We used to have to test it everyday but you could send an A4 page of words, a photo or a diagram in something less than newspaper quality but it took up to 10 minutes. It was mostly ‘tested’ with funny drawings or inspirational quotes, I think these were the early memes of our military network.

We also used a computer system for other purposes but on the over night shifts we sometimes chatted with other operators at bases in Scotland. This was by means of a simple line of text typed into the bottom of the screen and their reply displayed at the top. I am not sure if it was even stored anywhere but it was an early prelude to things like Instant Messengers.

Concurrent with this there was a micro revolution and Sir Clive Sinclair brought us the ZX81 and The Spectrum. I remember a crowd of us around a 16k ZX81 playing Football Manager. Every so often one of us would go off to perform his guard duty or other task but always straight back to have one more go! The Cold War wasn’t quite so hot anymore but that would have been a good summer for the Russians to invade!

I taught myself Basic and then took a couple of RAF computer courses. I came out of the Air Force and managed to get a place on a TOPS computer training course in Manchester where I learnt about boring business languages like COBOL and RPG2. Actually the whole school algebra thing suddenly made sense. Now I even knew how to apply it in the real world.

So jobs came and went but my one constant was computers. As a hobbyist and as an operator, implementor and champion. Through vocational computer courses over the years I finally found myself applying my knowledge as web-designer, a trainer and network manager at a University in The Netherlands.

Whilst working there just before the millennium turned over, I started a degree in Computing and Media and one of my elective courses was Poetry. Something I had played with for years but my professor lit a fire underneath me. I was revisiting old stuff, rewriting, creating and renewing my passion for poetry and writing.

What did I write about? Things that amused or inspired me, technology, peoples relationships with computers, the internet and random stuff.

Later on my return to the UK, I became involved in Secondary Education in film making and media but particularly in a project  with a colleague that we called Films for Learning. Some of the articles I wrote at the time may be included in this collection. Not poetry but an insight into what I was seeing and how inspiring it was to work with creative students.

I shared a chapbook of my poems with my Father and he said I reminded him of Ogden Nash. “Who’s Ogden Nash?” I said. Later I went off to the bookstore and found a suitable volume and this interchange with my Father was the trigger that started a real War of Words. An exchange of poetastery where rapid fire poems were exchanged through email that dragged many of my siblings into a Poetry War!

Thats just about it, I have always had a passion for poems and technology and hopefully I managed to light some fires of my own along the way. This collection is a glimpse inside my head and I hope it surprises some of those people who only ever knew me as  ‘The Computer Guy’ who came to sort out their computer problems.

March 2016
Peter Roe

Hard Driving

I am the Techno-Shaman
I live in  a Haych-Tee Tee-Pee

Got myself a dotcom internet Address
Got myself some of that Eee-mail
Got myself an Eye-Ess-Pee
With loads of Kay-Bee-Pease
I’m rammed up
Turned on
High on E
Hard driving on the information super highway

Cruising for a link
A HOT HOT You-Are-ELL
My Eye-Ess-Dee-En is running hot
My Pee-See-Eye can really fly
My hardwares hard
and my softwares NOT

Got myself a dotcom internet Address
Got myself some of that Eee-mail
Ee-chat, Eye-See-Q
I’m ‘virtually’ yours
I’m rammed up
I’m turned on
I’m high on E
I’m Hard driving
Cruising on the information super-highway

Peter Roe
All Rights Reserved

Information Overload

I’ve got me a tablet with a wire less contraption
that gives me the internet and network interaction
and a Hi Deff Tee Vee with digital information
that dishes up soap using it’s satellite connection

I’m integrated and interfaced and wired to the hilt
I get all the gadgets just as soon as they’re built
I’m hip and I’m cool and I’m trying not to get old
but really I’m approaching information overload

I got me a smart phone to keep me connected
and an alarm for the house to keep me protected
And a microchip for the cat to keep him located
and an XBone for my kids to keep them placated

I’m integrated and interfaced and wired to the hilt
I get all the gadgets just as soon as they’re built
I’m hip and I’m cool and I’m trying not to get old
but I think I’m approaching information overload

I’m targeted with adverts from morning till night
‘Hey… Buy this for a dollar’ or ‘Buy this Cheap Flight’
or ‘Bulk me Ups’ and  ‘Niagra’ and ‘Hot Totty’ too
or a ‘Cruising Holiday’ or a “Day Trip to the Zoo’

I integrated and interfaced with digital communication
but all the gadgets gave me was information saturation
I’m not hip and not cool and I’m definitely getting old
and I have finally reached information overload

Peter Roe
All Rights Reserved