Spams Off!

I seem to remember, when I was a lad
Sitting in a caf’ with me dear old Dad
and fag ash Lil with her face so hard
slouched on over and gave us a card
covered in stains from the greasy food
and an attitude that bordered on being bloody rude

She’d get out a pencil and her little notebook
she’d scratch her nose and give you that look
that says “I’m busy, I haven’t got all day”
then she opens her mouth and what does she say?

“You can’t have breakfast it’s long past ten”
so we look at the card to start choosing again
“Ketchup is extra and we haven’t any hake…
and you’ll have to wait ‘cos cooks on his break”
she interrupts herself with a delicate cough
“Oh and by the way… the spams off!”

Peter Roe 
All rights reserved

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